Looking for a funny golf joke? From funny jokes, to witty one liners we have over 149 here for you to choose from! 150 Jokes to be exact!
Funny Golf Jokes | Witty Golf Jokes
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of shoes to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why don’t golfers play in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
- What do you call a can of worms playing golf? An opening drive.
- Why do golfers always carry a spare ball? In case they get a hole in one.
- Why did the golfer wear two shirts? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why did the golfer wear a raincoat? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a golfer who never misses a putt? A liar.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always in the woods? Woody.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always on the beach? Sandy.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball into the water? A fisherman.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken tee? A teeless swinger.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too far? A bomber.
- Why do golfers always have a divot tool with them? To repair the divots they create on the fairway.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball into the bunker? A sandman.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a cracked ball? A broken record.
- Why do golfers always have a ball retriever with them? To retrieve their lost balls from the water and bushes.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too high? An air ball.
- Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of glasses to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why did the golfer bring an extra hat to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too low? A worm burner.
- Why do golfers always have a towel with them? To wipe the sweat off their brow after missing a shot.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken ball marker? A marker-less swinger.
- Why do golfers always have a range finder with them? To measure the distance to the hole and choose the right club.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball into the rough? A grass cutter.
- Why do golfers always bring a water bottle with them? To stay hydrated during the round.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always talking to himself on the course? A self-talker.
- Why do golfers always have a bag stand on their bag? So they can prop their bag up and keep it clean.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken glove? A bare-handed swinger.
- Why do golfers always have a club head cover on their driver? To protect the club head from scratches and dings.
- Why do golfers always have a hat with them? To shield their eyes from the sun and keep a cool head on the course.
- Why do golfers always have a pencil with them? To keep score and mark their ball on the green.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken ball retriever? A retriever-less swinger.
- Why did the golfer bring a spare glove to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball to the left? A slicer.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball to the right? A hooker.
- Why do golfers always have a bag tag on their bag? To identify their bag on the course and at the club.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a bent club? A crooked swinger.
- Why do golfers always have a ball stamp with them? To mark their ball with their own unique design.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball short? A duffer.
- Why do golfers always have a scorecard with them? To keep track of their scores and progress throughout the round.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken rangefinder? A finder-less swinger.
- Why did the golfer bring a spare umbrella to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a cracked driver? A driver-less swinger.
- Why do golfers always have a ball marker with them? To mark the position of their ball on the green.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken golf bag? A bag-less swinger.
- Why do golfers always have a club brush with them? To clean their clubs after each shot.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too slow? A laggard.
- Why do golfers always have a pitch repair tool with them? To repair the pitch marks they create on the green.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken pitch repair tool? A repair-less swinger.
- Why do golfers always have a hat clip with them? To clip their hat onto their bag and keep it handy.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too fast? A speed demon.
- Why do golfers always have a sunscreen with them? To protect their skin from the sun’s harmful rays.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken towel? A towel-less swinger.
- Why do golfers always have a rain hood with them? To protect their bag and clubs from the rain.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken club head cover? A cover-less swinger.
- Why do golfers always have a pocket knife with them? To repair divots, clean their clubs, and open snacks.
- What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken ball stamp? A stamp-less swinger.
- Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
Best Golf Joke Puns
- I hit all my golf shots in the woods. I think I have a tree-mendous swing!
- Did you hear about the golfer who was arrested for stealing golf balls? He got caught tee-handed!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the golf course? In case he got a hole in one!
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
- Did you hear about the golfer who was afraid of the water? He had a golf phobia!
- Why did the golfer wear two shirts? In case he got a hole in one!
- Why did the golfer get two pairs of pants? Because he got a hole-in-one!
- Why do golfers always wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole-in-one!
- Did you hear about the golfer who got a hole-in-one while wearing two pairs of pants? He was double-teed!
- Why did the golfer bring a camera to the course? To capture his hole-in-one-derful shots!
- Why did the golfer wear a helmet? Because he was afraid of getting hit by a golf ball-teer!
- Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? To reach the par-fect shot!
- What do you call a group of golfers who are all named “Mark”? A “Mark”ed foursome!
- Why did the golfer bring a donut to the course? To have a hole-in-one!
- Why did the golfer wear a coat to the course? Because he heard it was going to be a little tees-y!
- What do you call a golfer who skips every other hole? A hole-skipper!
- Why did the golfer bring a spare pair of pants to the course? In case he got a hole-in-one and had a pants-teg!
- Why did the golfer bring a cactus to the course? To give his golf ball some spikey spin!
- Why did the golfer bring a fishing rod to the course? To catch a hole-in-one-derful fish shot!
- Why did the golfer bring a toolbox to the course? To fix his swing!
- Why did the golfer bring a pizza to the course? To have a slice of life after a great shot!
- Why did the golfer bring a watch to the course? To keep a tee-time schedule!
- Why did the golfer bring a magnet to the course? To attract birdies!
- Why did the golfer bring a flashlight to the course? To see his way to a hole-in-one!
- Why did the golfer bring a calculator to the course? To keep score in a tee-rific way!
- Why did the golfer bring a lasso to the course? To rope in a hole-in-one!
- Why did the golfer bring a parachute to the course? To safely land his shots on the green!
- Why did the golfer bring a bottle of ketchup to the course? To help with his slice!
- Why did the golfer bring a map to the course? To navigate his way to the next hole-in-one!
- Why did the golfer bring a pillow to the course? To cushion his fall after a bad shot!
- Why did the golfer bring a chainsaw to the course? To get out of the rough!
- Why did the golfer bring a toothbrush to the course? To brush up on his skills!
- Why did the golfer bring a book to the course? To read about golf swings and putts!
- Why did the golfer bring a stopwatch to the course? To time his shots perfectly!
- Why did the golfer bring a catapult to the course? To launch his ball straight into the hole!
- Why did the golfer bring a yo-yo to the course? To have some tee-rific fun in between shots!
- Why did the golfer bring a telescope to the course? To see the ball fly in a whole new way!
- Why did the golfer bring a pen to the course? To sign autographs after a hole-in-one!
- Why did the golfer bring a jackhammer to the course? To make the hole bigger for an easy putt!
- Why did the golfer bring a megaphone to the course? To shout “fore” even louder!
- Why did the golfer bring a tape measure to the course? To measure his tee shots!
- Why did the golfer bring a guitar to the course? To serenade his ball on the way to the green!
- Why did the golfer bring a rubber chicken to the course? To keep things light and funny!
- Why did the golfer bring a helium tank to the course? To make his ball float over the rough!
- Why did the golfer bring a whistle to the course? To call a penalty on his opponents!
- Why did the golfer bring a beach ball to the course? To have some fun in the sand traps!
- Why did the golfer bring a trampoline to the course? To get some extra height on his shots!
- Why did the golfer bring a compass to the course? To make sure he was heading in the right direction towards the hole!
- Why did the golfer bring a rubber band to the course? To stretch out his swing!
- Why did the golfer bring a duck call to the course? To call his ball back to the fairway!
- Why did the golfer bring a frying pan to the course? To cook up some birdies!
- Why did the golfer bring a GPS to the course? To navigate his way to the next hole-in-one!
- Why did the golfer bring a harmonica to the course? To play some sweet music after sinking a putt!
- Why did the golfer bring a chalkboard to the course? To keep score in a tee-rific way!
- Why did the golfer bring a surfboard to the course? To ride the waves of the rough!
- Why did the golfer bring a hammer to the course? To fix any divots on the green!
- Why did the golfer bring a typewriter to the course? To write a novel about his golf game!
- Why did the golfer bring a telescope to the course? To see the ball in a whole new way!
- Why did the golfer bring a wrench to the course? To fix his swing!
- Why did the golfer bring a life jacket to the course? To stay afloat during a water hazard!
Best Golf One Liners
- “Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore’, shoot six, and write down five.”
- “Golf is a sport where you can be a millionaire and still dress like a homeless person.”
- “I don’t play golf to escape my wife, I play golf to escape my kids.”
- “Golf is like life, you always think the next shot will be better.”
- “Golf is the only game where the most feared opponent is you.”
- “I have a tip to improve your golf game – it’s called practice.”
- “Golf is a game where you yell ‘fore’, play five and write down four.”
- “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
- “Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.”
- “Golf is a game where you yell ‘fore’, shoot six, and write down five.”
- “Golf is a game of inches, and the most important are the six inches between your ears.”
- “Golf is like a love affair: If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.”
- “Golf is the only sport where the equipment and the playing surface are constantly trying to defeat you.”
- “Golf is a game that is played on a course that was evidently landscaped by a sadist.”
- “Golf is the perfect game for people who don’t want to sweat too much, but still want to get a sunburn.”
- “Golf is the only game I know where you call a penalty on yourself – and nobody else will.”
- “Golf is a game in which you can drink and drive.”
- “Golf is a lot like taxes, you drive hard to make the green and end up in the hole.”
- “Golf is a game where you can be bad for years and then suddenly get worse.”
- “Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly, and the player always lies well.”
- “Golf is a game that’s too much fun to be taken seriously.”
- “Golf is a game where the ball always looks bigger when it’s rolling away from you.”
- “Golf is a game that is played with a club and a ball, but the real competition is between the ears.”
- “Golf is a game that is mostly played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.”
- “Golf is a game that is easier to play than it is to talk about.”
- “Golf is a game that’s a lot like life, except in golf, you get to choose your opponents.”
- “Golf is a game where the only thing worse than a three-putt is a two-putt.”
- “Golf is a game where you can hit a perfect shot, but still end up in a bad place.”
- “Golf is a game where you can have a perfect swing, but still miss the ball.”
- “Golf is a game that is played on a beautiful course – but the scenery doesn’t make up for the frustration.”
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