150 Of The Best Golf Jokes!

Looking for a funny golf joke? From funny jokes, to witty one liners we have over 149 here for you to choose from! 150 Jokes to be exact!

Funny Golf Jokes | Witty Golf Jokes

1. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of shoes to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
3. Why don’t golfers play in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
4. What do you call a can of worms playing golf? An opening drive.
5. Why do golfers always carry a spare ball? In case they get a hole in one.
6. Why did the golfer wear two shirts? In case he got a hole in one.
7. Why did the golfer wear a raincoat? In case he got a hole in one.
8. What do you call a golfer who never misses a putt? A liar.
9. What do you call a golfer who’s always in the woods? Woody.
10. What do you call a golfer who’s always on the beach? Sandy.
11. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball into the water? A fisherman.
12. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken tee? A teeless swinger.
13. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
14. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too far? A bomber.
15. Why do golfers always have a divot tool with them? To repair the divots they create on the fairway.
16. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball into the bunker? A sandman.
17. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a cracked ball? A broken record.
18. Why do golfers always have a ball retriever with them? To retrieve their lost balls from the water and bushes.
19. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too high? An air ball.
20. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of glasses to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
21. Why did the golfer bring an extra hat to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
22. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too low? A worm burner.
23. Why do golfers always have a towel with them? To wipe the sweat off their brow after missing a shot.
24. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken ball marker? A marker-less swinger.
25. Why do golfers always have a range finder with them? To measure the distance to the hole and choose the right club.
26. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball into the rough? A grass cutter.
27. Why do golfers always bring a water bottle with them? To stay hydrated during the round.
28. What do you call a golfer who’s always talking to himself on the course? A self-talker.
29. Why do golfers always have a bag stand on their bag? So they can prop their bag up and keep it clean.
30. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken glove? A bare-handed swinger.
31. Why do golfers always have a club head cover on their driver? To protect the club head from scratches and dings.
32. Why do golfers always have a hat with them? To shield their eyes from the sun and keep a cool head on the course.
33. Why do golfers always have a pencil with them? To keep score and mark their ball on the green.
34. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken ball retriever? A retriever-less swinger.
35. Why did the golfer bring a spare glove to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
36. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball to the left? A slicer.
37. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball to the right? A hooker.
38. Why do golfers always have a bag tag on their bag? To identify their bag on the course and at the club.
39. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a bent club? A crooked swinger.
40. Why do golfers always have a ball stamp with them? To mark their ball with their own unique design.
41. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball short? A duffer.
42. Why do golfers always have a scorecard with them? To keep track of their scores and progress throughout the round.
43. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken rangefinder? A finder-less swinger.
44. Why did the golfer bring a spare umbrella to the course? In case he got a hole in one.
45. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a cracked driver? A driver-less swinger.
46. Why do golfers always have a ball marker with them? To mark the position of their ball on the green.
47. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken golf bag? A bag-less swinger.
48. Why do golfers always have a club brush with them? To clean their clubs after each shot.
49. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too slow? A laggard.
50. Why do golfers always have a pitch repair tool with them? To repair the pitch marks they create on the green.
51. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken pitch repair tool? A repair-less swinger.
52. Why do golfers always have a hat clip with them? To clip their hat onto their bag and keep it handy.
53. What do you call a golfer who’s always hitting the ball too fast? A speed demon.
54. Why do golfers always have a sunscreen with them? To protect their skin from the sun’s harmful rays.
55. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken towel? A towel-less swinger.
56. Why do golfers always have a rain hood with them? To protect their bag and clubs from the rain.
57. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken club head cover? A cover-less swinger.
58. Why do golfers always have a pocket knife with them? To repair divots, clean their clubs, and open snacks.
59. What do you call a golfer who’s always playing with a broken ball stamp? A stamp-less swinger.
60. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt to the course? In case he got a hole in one.

Best Golf Joke Puns

1. I hit all my golf shots in the woods. I think I have a tree-mendous swing!
2. Did you hear about the golfer who was arrested for stealing golf balls? He got caught tee-handed!
3. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the golf course? In case he got a hole in one!
4. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
5. Did you hear about the golfer who was afraid of the water? He had a golf phobia!
6. Why did the golfer wear two shirts? In case he got a hole in one!
7. Why did the golfer get two pairs of pants? Because he got a hole-in-one!
8. Why do golfers always wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole-in-one!
9. Did you hear about the golfer who got a hole-in-one while wearing two pairs of pants? He was double-teed!
10. Why did the golfer bring a camera to the course? To capture his hole-in-one-derful shots!
11. Why did the golfer wear a helmet? Because he was afraid of getting hit by a golf ball-teer!
12. Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? To reach the par-fect shot!
13. What do you call a group of golfers who are all named “Mark”? A “Mark”ed foursome!
14. Why did the golfer bring a donut to the course? To have a hole-in-one!
15. Why did the golfer wear a coat to the course? Because he heard it was going to be a little tees-y!
16. What do you call a golfer who skips every other hole? A hole-skipper!
17. Why did the golfer bring a spare pair of pants to the course? In case he got a hole-in-one and had a pants-teg!
18. Why did the golfer bring a cactus to the course? To give his golf ball some spikey spin!
19. Why did the golfer bring a fishing rod to the course? To catch a hole-in-one-derful fish shot!
20. Why did the golfer bring a toolbox to the course? To fix his swing!
21. Why did the golfer bring a pizza to the course? To have a slice of life after a great shot!
22. Why did the golfer bring a watch to the course? To keep a tee-time schedule!
23. Why did the golfer bring a magnet to the course? To attract birdies!
24. Why did the golfer bring a flashlight to the course? To see his way to a hole-in-one!
25. Why did the golfer bring a calculator to the course? To keep score in a tee-rific way!
26. Why did the golfer bring a lasso to the course? To rope in a hole-in-one!
27. Why did the golfer bring a parachute to the course? To safely land his shots on the green!
28. Why did the golfer bring a bottle of ketchup to the course? To help with his slice!
29. Why did the golfer bring a map to the course? To navigate his way to the next hole-in-one!
30. Why did the golfer bring a pillow to the course? To cushion his fall after a bad shot!
31. Why did the golfer bring a chainsaw to the course? To get out of the rough!
32. Why did the golfer bring a toothbrush to the course? To brush up on his skills!
33. Why did the golfer bring a book to the course? To read about golf swings and putts!
34. Why did the golfer bring a stopwatch to the course? To time his shots perfectly!
35. Why did the golfer bring a catapult to the course? To launch his ball straight into the hole!
36. Why did the golfer bring a yo-yo to the course? To have some tee-rific fun in between shots!
37. Why did the golfer bring a telescope to the course? To see the ball fly in a whole new way!
38. Why did the golfer bring a pen to the course? To sign autographs after a hole-in-one!
39. Why did the golfer bring a jackhammer to the course? To make the hole bigger for an easy putt!
40. Why did the golfer bring a megaphone to the course? To shout “fore” even louder!
41. Why did the golfer bring a tape measure to the course? To measure his tee shots!
42. Why did the golfer bring a guitar to the course? To serenade his ball on the way to the green!
43. Why did the golfer bring a rubber chicken to the course? To keep things light and funny!
44. Why did the golfer bring a helium tank to the course? To make his ball float over the rough!
45. Why did the golfer bring a whistle to the course? To call a penalty on his opponents!
46. Why did the golfer bring a beach ball to the course? To have some fun in the sand traps!
47. Why did the golfer bring a trampoline to the course? To get some extra height on his shots!
48. Why did the golfer bring a compass to the course? To make sure he was heading in the right direction towards the hole!
49. Why did the golfer bring a rubber band to the course? To stretch out his swing!
50. Why did the golfer bring a duck call to the course? To call his ball back to the fairway!
51. Why did the golfer bring a frying pan to the course? To cook up some birdies!
52. Why did the golfer bring a GPS to the course? To navigate his way to the next hole-in-one!
53. Why did the golfer bring a harmonica to the course? To play some sweet music after sinking a putt!
54. Why did the golfer bring a chalkboard to the course? To keep score in a tee-rific way!
55. Why did the golfer bring a surfboard to the course? To ride the waves of the rough!
56. Why did the golfer bring a hammer to the course? To fix any divots on the green!
57. Why did the golfer bring a typewriter to the course? To write a novel about his golf game!
58. Why did the golfer bring a telescope to the course? To see the ball in a whole new way!
59. Why did the golfer bring a wrench to the course? To fix his swing!
60. Why did the golfer bring a life jacket to the course? To stay afloat during a water hazard!

Best Golf One Liners

1. “Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore’, shoot six, and write down five.”
2. “Golf is a sport where you can be a millionaire and still dress like a homeless person.”
3. “I don’t play golf to escape my wife, I play golf to escape my kids.”
4. “Golf is like life, you always think the next shot will be better.”
5. “Golf is the only game where the most feared opponent is you.”
6. “I have a tip to improve your golf game – it’s called practice.”
7. “Golf is a game where you yell ‘fore’, play five and write down four.”
8. “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
9. “Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.”
10. “Golf is a game where you yell ‘fore’, shoot six, and write down five.”
11. “Golf is a game of inches, and the most important are the six inches between your ears.”
12. “Golf is like a love affair: If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.”
13. “Golf is the only sport where the equipment and the playing surface are constantly trying to defeat you.”
14. “Golf is a game that is played on a course that was evidently landscaped by a sadist.”
15. “Golf is the perfect game for people who don’t want to sweat too much, but still want to get a sunburn.”
16. “Golf is the only game I know where you call a penalty on yourself – and nobody else will.”
17. “Golf is a game in which you can drink and drive.”
18. “Golf is a lot like taxes, you drive hard to make the green and end up in the hole.”
19. “Golf is a game where you can be bad for years and then suddenly get worse.”
20. “Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly, and the player always lies well.”
21. “Golf is a game that’s too much fun to be taken seriously.”
22. “Golf is a game where the ball always looks bigger when it’s rolling away from you.”
23. “Golf is a game that is played with a club and a ball, but the real competition is between the ears.”
24. “Golf is a game that is mostly played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.”
25. “Golf is a game that is easier to play than it is to talk about.”
26. “Golf is a game that’s a lot like life, except in golf, you get to choose your opponents.”
27. “Golf is a game where the only thing worse than a three-putt is a two-putt.”
28. “Golf is a game where you can hit a perfect shot, but still end up in a bad place.”
29. “Golf is a game where you can have a perfect swing, but still miss the ball.”
30. “Golf is a game that is played on a beautiful course – but the scenery doesn’t make up for the frustration.”

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Travis

A former college golfer who played professionally for a short time, Travis brings a wealth of knowledge about the game of golf to Tee Precision.He currently plays to a +2 handicap and shares his insights with the Tee Precision community.

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